subscribeAnd NaNoWriMo is over.
Tuesday December 1, 2009
I won NaNoWriMo 2009! Now all I need to do is get my winner’s t-shirt (or another, at least) and sit back, giggling over the ludicrousness of my accomplishment. Right?
Well, not really. I’ll explain.
The breakneck pace of my NaNoWriMo project this year was due in part to a lot of factors. It was a story I first wrote, in a version absurdly different from the way I see it now, back in 2000/2001. I’ve rewritten it top-to-bottom at least three times now, and in each version markedly different things happen but it’s the same world, same basic story. The three main characters are always the same three folks. I know them absurdly well. I even transposed their odd story onto a screenplay I wrote in college, for no other reason than I couldn’t think of what else to write for my assignment and these characters are old friends. But back in 2007 I imagined a vastly different background for the characters which gives a different gravity, a weight to the story that was never there. But I never wrote more than a vague scene and some notes on this new direction. I realized that this change was so big I had to delete certain characters I’d known for a draft or two, create entirely new ones, re-imagine old ones, and utterly alter the nature of the plot’s movement. (And that was scary and a huge thing to just… start one day!) My ideas for this draft were the same but the events leading to them were different, things like that. I was afraid to actually write it at last, I think. But I needed a project for NaNo and I think NaNo is the perfect opportunity for a writer to just take something off of their already large to-do list and just do it (as opposed to the way a non-writer approaches NaNo).
So I approached this year’s NaNoWriMo as my excuse to finally write this idea down, as I said a few weeks ago here. That helped my ability to punch this story out in 20 days, certainly, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t pretty much flying by the seat of my pants every day all the same. I also devoted a good 8, sometimes 10 hours a day to the endeavor, and had a lot of output as a result of the time I put into it. (And no, my fingers can’t fly over keys for all of those hours straight. I am easily distracted.) Some fascinating things happened. I was confident in my point of view and its changes. (Point of view is usually my hardest single choice in a draft! I agonize! Not so in this one.) I seamlessly slid into the persona of these old, beloved characters, even though I threw things at them I didn’t even know I’d hidden up my subconscious sleeve. It was glorious fun.
But now that I’ve done all of that, finally written down the meat of the story (and I’ve outlined what the rest of the story will be) I am looking at December quite differently than I looked at October and November. I’m realizing that while I can probably sit and finish my NaNo novel and make it what I know it will be now, I also have an obligation to myself to finish my 2009 WiP, the very same one I started during my self-imposed JaNoWriMo last January, the one I’ve been working on in earnest rewriting and polishing since the summer. I’ve made the [rash?] promise to myself that by 2010, I will finish it. Which means… 31 days from now. It’s only about 20 or 25,000 words away from completion. That’s half of NaNoWriMo’s sheer output demand. Theoretically as I wrote 50,000 words in 20 days, this 20,000 word chunk should be… well. Shouldn’t be too onerous for a 31 day task.
Now that is a hell of a lot scarier to me than NaNoWriMo. My WiP is a rewrite. Granted, I’ve diverged [at times majorly] from my first draft in this rewrite, but I still know where I’m going and [pretty much] how I’ll get there. (Rather, I know the major things I need to hit and where it will end, but the details are foggy. I am a write-to-know details person.) But finishing denotes… finality. I think I need to do it to prove to myself that I can wrap this thing up tight. Then, once I’m content with that, I’ll go back to this year’s NaNo, revisit my other drafts set in that same world… oh, the many things I must do. Oh, yes, and begin the query process. For the first time ever. The funny thing is I’m not nervous about querying so much as nervous about what happens when (“when” because, recall, I am cheekily optimistic) it all happens. When this amorphous agent wants me as a client, when they sell my book to a publisher…. I’m nervous about being a real grown up. Not about being a writer — I’ve been a writer since I was twelve, for goodness’ sake; I have a degree in writing! — but about being a real freaking grown up. I am too old to be nervous about that! But… still. Part of me wants to go tell my story to my Barbies and call it a day, like I did when I was twelve. But I’m too old for that, too.
Oh, December… how exciting you shall be…
National Novel Writing Month 2009
Tuesday September 15, 2009
Otherwise known as NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, sponsored by the non-profit The Office of Letters and Light, takes place every November. Originally started in 1999, it now involves thousands of novelists every year striving toward a minimum goal of writing 50,000 words in a single month. It’s mayhem and absurdly fun to do. I won it last year (meaning I wrote at least the minimum 50,000 words required) and I’m planning to do it again this year.
Last year was tough because I hadn’t really sat down with the discipline of writing an entire novel that quickly before (I’d done a chapter here and a chapter there for ages). It was crucial, though, because it taught me the limits of my discipline in a very organized, documented way. I understood under which circumstances the words flowed for me, and under which I struggled. (Knowing that now helps me with my current project. When I get stuck, I use the tricks I taught myself during last NaNo.)
Strangely enough, this last January was more or less JaNoWriMo for me (ha). I started a project vaguely between January 6-10 and had more than 50,000 words by January’s end. That furious pace continued until I had to set aside it for wedding stuff by March. Since then, I’d say I’ve also been writing a lot more in 2009 than I did in both 2008 and 2007 — it’s amazing, really, what I’ve actually written this year — so I’m eager to see what kind of pace I can maintain this November. Past success doesn’t guarantee anything, though. I still need an idea (starting with nothing on November 1st isn’t going to go over well!) and I’d had one by this time last year. If I don’t have one by October 1st, I’ll start worrying. By November 1st, though, it’s kamikaze novel writing time.
The other problem is this — what if I’m still up to my eyeballs in my current draft? Could there be any way for me to work on more than one that month? Probably not. If Things of Importance start happening with my current project, NaNo may have to fall by the wayside. In which case… gah. It’d be both a good and sad thing. Primarily good, though, because Things of Importance are really more important to me.
I tried NaNo first in 2002 and then again in 2007. Both times I gave up by the first week. The two unchangeable problems of November for me are my birthday and Thanksgiving; both occasions usually drag me away from my computer for some time. Ideally in NaNoWriMo you need to stay on pace (“pace” is at least 1,667 words a day — which isn’t asking too much, to be honest) in order to comfortably hit 50,000 words. Last year I had some days of 600 words then days of 6,000 words, which was somewhat absurd, but then again, I have days like that as a regular writer, even when I’m not trying to go for a goal as pointed as 50,000 in a month. I’m also an admitted procrastinator. That also influenced the way my month went. (For the image I posted: Red indicates “under pace”; green indicates “over pace”; and gray indicates “on pace”. Note: It says “30 days left” because it’s not yet November 2009 and the images I snagged from last year are a bit wonky, as they’re half updated; I snagged a bunch last year but I forgot where I saved them. Brilliant…)
I’m a writer but not everyone who participates in NaNoWriMo is, or at least is for their day-job. Anyone can do it. Anyone who reads has a good idea of how to start writing. A bunch of people I know personally are planning to attempt NaNoWriMo this year. Kamikaze novel writing with a collective group of people who’ve chosen to do this — there’s nothing like it. If you’ve never done it before, you really ought to consider signing up on the website (you can do that today!) and getting ready for the insanity to begin at 12am November 1st. Or 9am, or 5pm, really — the whole idea of NaNoWriMo is to set the goal for yourself, monitor yourself, and report your own word count on the honor system. So it’s entirely up to you.
Are you planning to do it? (Say yes!) Have you already been thinking about it, or are you considering it now? I bet you’ll have fun if you do it… Shameless non-profit promotion? Who, me?
I essentially pay rent to Starbucks.
Thursday February 5, 2009
I had this realization today.
For two to six hours on any given weekday I will hole up with fingerless gloves (oh the inconsistent heating) and sweater/fleece and write at Starbucks. I rent a table and power outlet for the price of a “venti hot earl grey tea” (or a “grande nonfat toffee nut latte”; “grande coffee with a shot of toffee nut”; “tall white hot chocolate”) and the occasional pastry. (Pray tell me, Starbucks, what happened to the rice crispy treats—the, er, ‘marshmallow rice bar’ or what have you? Have you discontinued them in Manhattan?? They have disappeared and no I do not like cupcakes. (Or. Chocolate.) I protest your cupcakes!)
I’m not the only one to use Starbucks as an office. At the Starbucks I go to — 1st Avenue at 90th Street in Manhattan — there are several people with laptops I’ve seen more than once. Sometimes they’re there before I am, sometimes they stay later than I do, or both. One man walks around making business calls the entire time, pacing the considerable length of the store while his table — fully spread with stacks of papers, finance documents, and the Wall Street Journal — sits unoccupied. Another man I’ve seen a few times comes equipped with a whole set of computer accessories (mouse, USB devices, headphones). I’ve seen more than one person sitting with laptop and books with titles like “How to Write Effective Resumes” at 1 o’clock in the afternoon. It makes me wonder if they’re unemployed. Another woman one time was very clearly writing a novel, sitting next to me. Any time my eyes would stray in her direction I would catch the indentations and quotations of rapid dialogue. It was funny to watch her write, actually, because she had all the movements, fits, and different cues I have; I could practically see the scene unfolding in her head as she wrote. The people who come here to write generally make me curious. I’m a big-time people watcher, it’s a guilty pleasure and a bad habit.
This isn’t the only place to which I have traveled to find a writing environment outside of the studio. There are about 10 different coffee shops in a 10 block radius, most of which have power outlets. (I have developed a seventh or eighth sense — how many do I have now? — for finding power outlets at coffee shops.) Only one has free internet. There are different costs and benefits to each place. (The one with the free internet only has 4 outlets but a deliciously squishy booth running along the wall, against half the tables. Unless I fight for the outlets, though, they’re usually taken. Plus that place only accepts cash and running to the ATM beforehand is usually something I’ll forget.)
One independent coffee place (I love the independent places, generally) charges for the use of their outlets and their internet, meaning I can’t even go there and write in a Word document without paying utilities. I understand that there are costs and lots of people hogging electricity over the cost of a month when you’re paying rent/utilities in Manhattan can really add up but… sigh. I don’t go there and pay the fee; enough people already do so I would still probably fight for the outlets. (Their coffee and tea products are legitimately delicious; they even have alcohol for the adventurous types.) A few of the different Starbucks are more or less storefronts with a bar area or one or two seats, hardly able to fit me and the laptop. Some are in locations (like near the subway) that ensure they get so much casual coffee-drinking traffic going through that my chances of finding a seat — near an outlet, no less — are nil.
Then there are the two public libraries in my area, the Yorkville and Webster branches of the New York Public Library. Both have computers and tables, and the Yorkville even has an area specifically for laptop users with free outlets. The only problem with both of those are that I have to battle retirees for the tables in the middle of the day. Lots of elderly neighborhood residents (some of them very elderly) go to the library and sit at the tables. Some just sit—don’t read, don’t write, don’t use the computers. They stare out vacantly into space. Those individuals make for very awkward people to sit next to when I am trying to avoid distraction. The Yorkville’s laptop area can be filled—especially once the local schools get out in the afternoon—which means I’d have to get there at 10am or 12pm, whenever the library opens that day, to possibly snag a seat. The elbow room is also pretty terrible, especially when people have the mammoth 17” laptops and happen to also be 6’5” with elbows. I am also one of those people who doesn’t like it when others glance over at my screen; lack of elbow space usually translates into the ability for my neighbor to read my document. Making the document zoom miniscule isn’t worth the eye strain it causes me. So the libraries, while both free and designed to be accommodating, end up not being very much so for me. I get particular, what can I say?
I do wish for more variety in this pseudo-office, though. I miss the Panera Breads at which I used to write in Pittsburgh, the one in Squirrel Hill especially. Get a Fuji Apple Chicken Salad and go to town on a novel or my school work, those were good times. (Yes I immensely enjoyed quite a lot of my school work, thank you.) The summer I spent living in Pittsburgh alone in 2005 was really helpful for letting me get to know all of the coffee shops and internet/laptop friendly locations within two miles of our apartment. I had a system worked out while I was at Carnegie Mellon for the different types of work I had to do — fiction writing for class versus for me sometimes required different locations, as did writing research papers. There were points during my senior year while writing my thesis that I would walk around all day with a backpack filled with the heavily tabbed & highlighted copies of my primary source materials. I also enjoyed writing in the school’s clusters. Oh, the Mac clusters. Yes, this PC user is a closet Mac fanatic… who is marrying a dedicated PC fanatic. Oh, off-topic rambles.
I like the Starbucks I frequent, though. The high school around the corner gets out in the two o’clock hour, a school bus with young kids stops outside in the 3pm hour, both of which make it necessary for me to get there well before 2pm if I intend to get a good seat. But I have a system and considering my productivity while I’m there, said system seems to be working out for me. If it isn’t broken… though really, I dream happily of the day when I have a home office. With either an espresso machine or a terrific tea collection. Both, possibly… See? I’m dreaming…
But still. 5,000 words for $6. That’s pretty darned skippy. (Yes, I had two drinks. /splurge)
Word counts
Thursday January 29, 2009
27 Jan: 3,139
28 Jan: 4,568
New total: 46,521. More to come imminently!
The last two days got off to a slow writing start because I was between big scenes. The big scenes flow like water, but the little scenes, the connective tissues between parts, come more slowly. It’s not less interesting but it’s just not as, well, explosive? It’s hard to describe. That, and of course, there are some scenes I have outlined that I have been positively itching to write since I first outlined them and when they finally come up in the draft, as Bryan says, I go to town on them. Explosion of words and a flurry of typewritten havoc all over the screen and suddenly I’m four thousand words farther along than I was and I’m giddy and enthusiastic. I get hyperactive when I’ve written a fun or exhilarating scene (and it could be the opposite emotion in the scene but I’ll still get a rush from writing it). This is the best part of writing. It’s not necessarily the newness of the draft that’s getting to me (though there is that) but it’s also the amazing feeling of things clicking and connecting. It’s a wonderful feeling of elation that I’ve never gotten from doing anything else (well, maybe reading a really good novel or writing a research paper and feeling its thesis snapping together with my research… but those are all inter-related, aren’t they?).
Back to the grind!
Okay. I give in. It’s a novel.
Sunday January 18, 2009
The um, project that I’ve been working on? I give in and admit it’s a novel and probably for the time being it’s the only thing I’m focusing on. I decided this the other day when I sat down and outlined about 90% of it. I never do this. I usually write out a bunch of the novel in a sort of “writing to discover” process and then figure out what needs to be there and doesn’t and from that figure out the hows of the plot and outline the details and start cleaning it up and revising it in a quasi-new-draft of it. But this outline is color-coded and I didn’t even write it on the computer. (Note to self: transfer to computer and save a billion backup copies of it everywhere.)
But this thing, this novel. It’s alive. It’s a creature taking hold of my brain. A giant squid novel, yep, that’s what I’m writing. (Having nothing to do with squids, really, except for the fact that this novel seems to have tentacles that have reached out of the monitor, grabbed me, and started smacking my head against the keyboard until I finally relented and agreed to work on it full time.)
I can’t complain, though–strike that, I shouldn’t be complaining, yet I am. I went from being in a holiday creative slump to being in a post-holiday creative slump. There was much staring at my iGoogle page, wondering what to do. I hadn’t even felt more than “Bleh” about reading–READING–that’s how slumpy I was. This… this fire… this is work of the kind I haven’t felt since February of 2006 when I started a draft based on an image of a conversation one of my historical characters was having with her brother. The image–what she was wearing, how she was sitting, her facial expressions, all of a sudden revealed this character that drew me in and made me so much more interested in her than just this figure who crops up in legend on one of the other novels. She was a real person with a whole story and a whole arc that needed to be told. That draft/novel was the cause of me getting very little sleep that semester. Instead I spent every weekend of that winter glued to the computer, feverishly working on that instead of working on what I was supposed to be working on. (Homework. Papers. Stories. The like.) The irony of this is every big draft I’ve ever started and enjoyed enough to write through I’ve started in the winter, usually in January or February. The autumn slump and the holiday break leads to an impatience and feverishness in January or February, I’m guessing. So I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.
But I feel guilty! I should be working on something else. In fact I love that story and really want to be working on it! (Alas, I need to write to discover with that one, though, which seems a bit onerous.) Maybe I should sit down with my colored pens and outline it anyway and just be as daring and brazen with its plot as I was with this novel and see where it leads. It’s working with this one! The word count of this document is probably going to surpass the count of that one in another week with my current pace (which is nicely graphed in Excel) and really… gah. At least my protagonist has multiple reasons to feel guilty so I get to use that guilt and angst in a productive way.
To think, this all started the day I interviewed a prospective student applying to Carnegie Mellon. I went to Starbucks a bit early, sat down with the laptop and opened a blank document. “To hell with it,” I thought. I’d intentionally arrived way too early to force myself to focus on writing. Something. Anything. And hell. It worked. Carnegie Mellon, you’re still helping me write. (In an admittedly weird and roundabout way.) Bless you.
Success at Starbucks
Thursday January 15, 2009
Yesterday I wrote roughly 5,000 words while working at Starbucks all afternoon. I also got, essentially, a free latte on top of my purchased latte. That was lovely. Bryan said that for the price of a latte he’d love to see me write 5,000 words a day. I laughed and said, Yeah, me too. When I got home, I wrote more, giving me a daily total of 6,792. That was higher than any single day’s total I’d written during NaNoWriMo in November.
The key: No internet.
(Yeah, I feel a bit guilty for posting this instead of working on today’s word count.)
2009 resolution: Keep track of daily word counts and other accomplishments made on a daily basis to give me a graphical/journalistic sense of my actual, concrete progress… check. How gratifying it is to see the Excel spreadsheet I’ve made (with formulae and graphs) being used. It’s colorful and it’s already started showing me my demonstrable progress for the year so far.
To explain why today’s word count is going sluggishly… Today I took a trip upstate to try on my wedding dress. Miraculously, being 5′8.5″ tall (YES that half inch is important to me) plus 2.5″ heels is apparently the precise height you need to be to not need the hem of these David’s Bridal gowns from dragging. It was the perfect length in the heels. When I take them off and switch to flats I’m going to really have to work on not falling flat on my face, but really, it’s worth it to not have the cost of the hemming alteration. (The dress actually needs no alterations, just a bustle added. Woo for apparently being the correct mathematical proportions for my dress size!)
It was weird. I wasn’t really excited about the whole thing. I love the gown, don’t get me wrong, but I think the perfectionist in me is really starting to wonder about how Murphy’s Law will effect the wedding. Remember, everything that can go wrong… can… or will… or hopefully won’t. Oh, stress.
Speaking about the draft, I am writing [a new project] in first person for the first time since my short stories in college, where it was usually my favorite point of view. I realized, a few thousand words in, that without first person, this character would be a fraction as interesting, both to read and write. As every single one of my characters is a facet of my personality as I like to think of them, it’s weird writing her, because I’m realizing her shortcomings and faults and seeing the ones she reflects in me sharply. (All of my characters, after being created, hop out of my head, become more fully formed and realized people than I’d originally anticipated, and walk around. I don’t know where they go before I get their stories written…) This protagonist thinks about a lot of stuff she is too self-conscious to actually say aloud, which happens to me a lot. And she’s not very witty when she speaks. She’s rather awkward in a sweet, naive way. But it keeps happening to her detriment — well, this is the beginning, after all, in her arc — and I’m realizing that I don’t usually speak up a lot of the time when I’m with strangers. With friends I’ll willingly be loud and obnoxious, but in one English class in college, I did not speak at all for all but two of the classes across the entire semester. I was terrified of judgment. It’s something I constantly work on. Seeing that flaw of mine as I’m writing this aspect of the protagonist’s personality, it’s strangely gripping. Maybe that’s why I can’t ignore this draft right now. I really want to see where her plot goes. I know vaguely where it goes, as I always do, but I have a feeling the little things will really matter for her… and for me.
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