the random ponderings of e. f. danehy

wherein she discusses such things as writing, fantasy literature & criticism, & nerdy popular culture (using much parenthetical commentary & tangential ramblings).

Tag: internet

My name is Erin and I’m a lurker.

Wednesday February 24, 2010

I admit it! I’m an lurker. A constant, avid lurker. This means I scroll through multiple outlets of social media including Twitter, Facebook, and several (dozen?) blogs on a regular basis, but I rarely (if ever) post in response to something, comment, or even @reply. Urban Dictionary has some interesting definitions for it, many of which apply to me.

I’m embarrassed!

I’m one of the only twenty-somethings I know who’s relatively shy about social media and meeting people via the medium of the internet. The weird thing is, this seems a bit off for my generation. I’m old enough to remember the Time Before the Internet but too young to have done much phone conversing with friends as a teen/college student — not when there was the beauty, speed, and simplicity of instant messaging, emails, chats, and social websites. (Though I’m too old to be an avid texter. Texts confuse me, mostly, and I am yet again ashamed to admit that.) So because of this, I have absolutely no qualms about lurking about the internet, checking up on friends and learning about new people.

In real life, however, I’m completely different. I can’t sit in a group of people I vaguely know and stay quiet (or at least, not for long). I’m probably too outgoing, sometimes — in that nerdy-awkward way — and when I describe myself as shy, many people who know me in real life laugh — laugh — because definitionally I’m not shy… except, apparently, when it comes to the internet.

Is this a bad thing, though? Perhaps. I follow and I have a really great sense of many people I’ve never met in real life via the medium, but because I don’t engage in a dialogue, they may not even realize I exist. But I’m also afraid, in this internet age of lower barriers to communication, of coming off as too pushy, crazy, or obsessive. (Which, admittedly, I know I may come off as if I really did throw myself into commenting to my heart’s content.) There’s a happy medium, and I’m sure I’ll ease into finding it, but I haven’t found it yet. Baby steps, they say, and that applies as much to this as to everything. I am trying, and I’ve been trying over the last few months, the last year, to really dig into the internet world. I’ll get there.

But until I ease myself into a more active internet social lifestyle, I’ll probably just keep lurking.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

Are we asking less and talking more?

Thursday February 26, 2009

When I get together with other writer friends, some other people in the arts, even, we usually don’t converse with question-and-answer conversations. We usually volunteer information in a back and forth manner.

“I’m going to the museum later.”

“Oh, really? I love that museum. I used to go there all of the time with my family. I love the impressionists.”

“Me too. I’ve always been captivated by Monet.”

“Monet? Nah, Van Gogh, he’s the real master…”

One could go an entire — fulfilling, polite, engaging — conversation like that, without really asking questions of the other person. I’ve had whole round-tables like this with family and friends. But thinking of Jane Austen and how “polite conversation” is theoretically supposed to work, are we being rude by not asking the polite, requisite questions without which this style of conversation can still happily exist? Are we missing out on something? Are we being insufferably self-centered, all of us?

This volunteering of information rather than asking about it also ties in with the basic “Hi, how are you?” issue I’ve been thinking of lately. How many people say “How are you?” or “What’s up?” sincerely, waiting for an answer, versus saying it as a greeting in and of itself? (The ritual “Well” or “Good” barely counts as an answer, either.) Some people I know just say it as a standard greeting in and of itself.

Thinking of conversations I’ve had with friends either on the phone, in person, or over the internet, usually they start or get around to talking about something one of us said/posted online. For instance, someone changes their Facebook status to announce a break-up or an acceptance to grad school or a change of employment and I’ll ask them about it, and we’ll talk about that already-volunteered piece of information.

Which leads me to wonder: are we all a little bit more self-centered in this age of readily available status information?

Thinking about this the other day, I asked a friend about it. My question had been specifically about writers: are writers inherently self-centered? But as the conversation evolved I wondered, are we all a little bit differently focused in this age? In the world of Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, blogs, online photo albums, family websites, IM, email… are we all, or mostly, living under the assumption that when something important happens to a person we know, they’ll announce it using an internet social medium? When I was in middle school or high school, it was all about IM away messages, used mainly as statuses, as places for people to quote song lyrics that fit their mood, to inform the world of away message stalkers that stuff had happened in their lives. I feel like I was informed about more college acceptances or rejections of my friends that way than the traditional way.

In college, it was similar, but we also then had cell phones a lot more frequently. (When I entered college, only about 2/3 of my friends had cell phones; I didn’t have one to start college. When I graduated, every single person I knew had a cell phone.) Texting became popular over the years, as did the frequency, rapidity, and importance of email as the primary form of communication. I talked to my parents — and still do — more frequently via email than phone. I’m not usually comfortable picking up the phone to call someone, so this change in technology has been really interesting for me, personally.

Facebook came along when I was a freshman in college. It became, and remains, the number one way I have been keeping in contact with my college and high school friends. Without it I am fairly certain we all would have lost touch after those first classes or moments together. But because of it, because of people updating statuses, work information, contact information, we’re all in touch in a way we could not have been a generation ago — scant years ago. And we’re in touch while barely communicating. I haven’t heard the actual voice of many of my friends who live far away in months and years. We talk casually via the internet and social media and that’s it. We haven’t seen or spoken to each other “IRL” or “in RL” or “in real life” — but is that bad? (And what’s real or, conversely, fake, about these online communications?) Does this represent a degeneration of personal communication, or is this an efficient streamlining of it? We can stay in contact with multiple people at once; we can multitask socializing. Is that a good thing?

Are social media changing the way we all communicate? Are we becoming people who are less concerned with asking about statuses of people we know and instead relying on being informed? Is this a less or more effective form of communication? Is it strange? Are we asking less and talking more — and is that a good thing?

I essentially pay rent to Starbucks.

Thursday February 5, 2009

I had this realization today.

For two to six hours on any given weekday I will hole up with fingerless gloves (oh the inconsistent heating) and sweater/fleece and write at Starbucks. I rent a table and power outlet for the price of a “venti hot earl grey tea” (or a “grande nonfat toffee nut latte”; “grande coffee with a shot of toffee nut”; “tall white hot chocolate”) and the occasional pastry. (Pray tell me, Starbucks, what happened to the rice crispy treats—the, er, ‘marshmallow rice bar’ or what have you? Have you discontinued them in Manhattan?? They have disappeared and no I do not like cupcakes. (Or. Chocolate.) I protest your cupcakes!)

I’m not the only one to use Starbucks as an office. At the Starbucks I go to — 1st Avenue at 90th Street in Manhattan — there are several people with laptops I’ve seen more than once. Sometimes they’re there before I am, sometimes they stay later than I do, or both. One man walks around making business calls the entire time, pacing the considerable length of the store while his table — fully spread with stacks of papers, finance documents, and the Wall Street Journal — sits unoccupied. Another man I’ve seen a few times comes equipped with a whole set of computer accessories (mouse, USB devices, headphones). I’ve seen more than one person sitting with laptop and books with titles like “How to Write Effective Resumes” at 1 o’clock in the afternoon. It makes me wonder if they’re unemployed. Another woman one time was very clearly writing a novel, sitting next to me. Any time my eyes would stray in her direction I would catch the indentations and quotations of rapid dialogue. It was funny to watch her write, actually, because she had all the movements, fits, and different cues I have; I could practically see the scene unfolding in her head as she wrote. The people who come here to write generally make me curious. I’m a big-time people watcher, it’s a guilty pleasure and a bad habit.

This isn’t the only place to which I have traveled to find a writing environment outside of the studio. There are about 10 different coffee shops in a 10 block radius, most of which have power outlets. (I have developed a seventh or eighth sense — how many do I have now? — for finding power outlets at coffee shops.) Only one has free internet. There are different costs and benefits to each place. (The one with the free internet only has 4 outlets but a deliciously squishy booth running along the wall, against half the tables. Unless I fight for the outlets, though, they’re usually taken. Plus that place only accepts cash and running to the ATM beforehand is usually something I’ll forget.)

One independent coffee place (I love the independent places, generally) charges for the use of their outlets and their internet, meaning I can’t even go there and write in a Word document without paying utilities. I understand that there are costs and lots of people hogging electricity over the cost of a month when you’re paying rent/utilities in Manhattan can really add up but… sigh. I don’t go there and pay the fee; enough people already do so I would still probably fight for the outlets. (Their coffee and tea products are legitimately delicious; they even have alcohol for the adventurous types.) A few of the different Starbucks are more or less storefronts with a bar area or one or two seats, hardly able to fit me and the laptop. Some are in locations (like near the subway) that ensure they get so much casual coffee-drinking traffic going through that my chances of finding a seat — near an outlet, no less — are nil.

Then there are the two public libraries in my area, the Yorkville and Webster branches of the New York Public Library. Both have computers and tables, and the Yorkville even has an area specifically for laptop users with free outlets. The only problem with both of those are that I have to battle retirees for the tables in the middle of the day. Lots of elderly neighborhood residents (some of them very elderly) go to the library and sit at the tables. Some just sit—don’t read, don’t write, don’t use the computers. They stare out vacantly into space. Those individuals make for very awkward people to sit next to when I am trying to avoid distraction. The Yorkville’s laptop area can be filled—especially once the local schools get out in the afternoon—which means I’d have to get there at 10am or 12pm, whenever the library opens that day, to possibly snag a seat. The elbow room is also pretty terrible, especially when people have the mammoth 17” laptops and happen to also be 6’5” with elbows. I am also one of those people who doesn’t like it when others glance over at my screen; lack of elbow space usually translates into the ability for my neighbor to read my document. Making the document zoom miniscule isn’t worth the eye strain it causes me. So the libraries, while both free and designed to be accommodating, end up not being very much so for me. I get particular, what can I say?

I do wish for more variety in this pseudo-office, though. I miss the Panera Breads at which I used to write in Pittsburgh, the one in Squirrel Hill especially. Get a Fuji Apple Chicken Salad and go to town on a novel or my school work, those were good times. (Yes I immensely enjoyed quite a lot of my school work, thank you.) The summer I spent living in Pittsburgh alone in 2005 was really helpful for letting me get to know all of the coffee shops and internet/laptop friendly locations within two miles of our apartment. I had a system worked out while I was at Carnegie Mellon for the different types of work I had to do — fiction writing for class versus for me sometimes required different locations, as did writing research papers. There were points during my senior year while writing my thesis that I would walk around all day with a backpack filled with the heavily tabbed & highlighted copies of my primary source materials. I also enjoyed writing in the school’s clusters. Oh, the Mac clusters. Yes, this PC user is a closet Mac fanatic… who is marrying a dedicated PC fanatic. Oh, off-topic rambles.

I like the Starbucks I frequent, though. The high school around the corner gets out in the two o’clock hour, a school bus with young kids stops outside in the 3pm hour, both of which make it necessary for me to get there well before 2pm if I intend to get a good seat. But I have a system and considering my productivity while I’m there, said system seems to be working out for me. If it isn’t broken… though really, I dream happily of the day when I have a home office. With either an espresso machine or a terrific tea collection. Both, possibly… See? I’m dreaming…

 But still. 5,000 words for $6. That’s pretty darned skippy. (Yes, I had two drinks. /splurge)

JaNoWriMo?

Tuesday January 27, 2009

I haven’t posted since last Wednesday because I’ve been doing a very exciting thing called writing. Obsessively, ridiculously writing. I’ve written 22,429 words since last Wednesday, actually. That’s a 6-day average of a bit more than 3,700 words a day. Frankly, that’s staggering. And I’m the one who’s been writing that! What?! Is it JaNoWriMo and no one told me?! (Yeah, that’s a play on NaNoWriMo, I’m uncreative today, whatevs, I’m using my creative juices for my novel.) What’s really helped me work this week has been me avoiding the internet, either by going to Starbucks to write or by turning off the wireless internet switch on the laptop at home (or refraining from plugging the ethernet cord into it). I can’t really avoid internet on the desktop so I haven’t really been using it for anything aside from the internet.

To chart my progress this month, I’ve been keeping track in an Excel spreadsheet, as nerdy and techy as that sounds. What’s more amazing is my handy dandy high school Excel spreadsheet skillz (yeah, I didn’t really employ them in college) still apply, and I’m even turning the data I’ve been tracking into (colorful! Wonderful!) graphs of my progress. I input my data in the “new words” column. Using my supa-nifty formulae, the sheet calculates how many new words I’ve written this month and deducts it from my monthly word goal (which started out at 35K, but I had to re-adjust it as I realized I’d surpassed that. It’s now a proper NaNoWriMo-worthy 50K).

Then, I tell a graph to take the data in specific columns and compare it — one line graphs my cumulative new word count, one line graphs my constant word goal so I can see how far I need to go. Colorfully rendered, it looks like this:

As you can see, at my current pace I’m going to surpass 50K for the  month of January. Crazy! I hope I can do it — really, I think that it’d be exciting to have done more in this month than I did in November for NaNoWriMo. And I started on January 10th! (Or input my initial wordcount of the document in on that day and started tabulating from then on.) It’s a bit… surreal?

Possibly the stranger thing is how excited I am about how good and right this story feels. It’s so alive and wonderful and has some moments that make my heart pound. I’ve had a few giggly moments, too, but I’m starting to get to the point where things are going to get real sticky for our plucky protagonist & friends, real sticky indeed. Also, she’s just starting to come out of the shell she’s hidden in for the last while, which is having some fun and unexpected results for her and the cast. I’m in Act II (yes, I think of my novels as having 3 or 5 Acts, like films or plays… this one has 3) and things are getting interesting!

Anyway, enough *patpat*ing of my graphs. I love them and they’ve inspired me to write but I still need that word count for today to keep me moving toward 50K and beyond.

P.S. Bryan introduced me to http://thisissand.com/. It’s… well. Addictive. And simple. Oh, addictive, simple things on the interwebz.

Thank you, Totallylookslike.com

Wednesday January 14, 2009

 star-wars-hush-98-comlink-totally-looks-like-gillete-sensor-for-women

Totallylookslike.com has proven that I am not the only person who saw Star Wars: Episode I in 1999 and thought, regarding this, “Oh my God, they were filming in Morocco and forgot to bring the prop for the jedi comlinks from London so one of the female prop masters took her razor, painted it, threw some glued metal pieces on it, and gave it to Liam Neeson and Ewan MacGregor, telling them very seriously to speak into it as if it’s not half a razor.” (That was the razor at the time, or at least one of them, and I certainly owned one.)

I feel absurdly validated.

Need… to… write…

Monday January 12, 2009

I realized I never talk about agents, editors, publishing, querying, or “trying to get published” often (if ever) on this blog. I don’t really talk about the industry, in other words. Thinking about why, I’ve realized that it comes down to two things: firstly, I’m not an authority on the industry, and I don’t want to seem to be. Reviewing books or talking about the world from my perspective are things I can do fairly comfortably but I don’t really like taking about things that actual agents, editors, and other publishing industry associated folks can discuss better than I can. I highly admire the agents and editors whose blogs I’ve stumbled across for what they do and the passion that keeps them going to work every day. What they write on their blogs is often interesting, varied, and valuable, and I know I could never discuss the blogosphere’s publishing industry topics the way they do. So I don’t.

The second reason I don’t really talk about the industry is that I’ve always been a very private person when it comes to a lot having to do with writing. My experience with the industry and what I’m doing regarding getting published falls into that category, too, I’ve found. I just… don’t really want to talk about it with the world at large. I’ll talk to friends or fellow aspiring authors about it but I won’t really go into a one-sided discussion here about it. I doubt I ever really will.

I’ve been thinking about the industry a lot lately, however, firstly because of the current economic climate, but secondly because I’ve finally gotten caught up on reading all of the recent entries of my way too many feeds of blogs written by agents, editors, and authors on my Google Reader. (I just subscribed to a whole bunch of new ones based on a few “best of 2008″ articles and discussions I’ve seen.) I even emailed a question-and-answer blog the one pressing pre-query question I’ve had for ages and she got back to me promptly with a terrific answer (which was… I’m over-thinking the issue. As I’d suspected! I over-think everything. Even this entry!).

Reading and thinking about all of the issues discussed on those blogs ultimately exhausts, inspires, and depresses me, all at once. I come away from reading them thinking of how eager I am to query… then how I’m not ready to yet… and the eagerness comes to a stumbling halt. Which then loops around to me getting energized about writing all over again… then once the eager energy spike subsides I go peruse Google Reader and… well, there you go. The cycle. No wonder I don’t really want to talk about the industry here. I mean, I should be writing fiction, right? Leave the industry speak to the pros.

Currently I’m in the “energized” writing stage of the cycle. I started a brand-spanking new draft last week (I know, I’m terrible!) and I’m hooked on it. It’s… so addictive. But the problem is I really ought to be pounding away at my main project instead, which has been dead in the water since before Christmas (oh, holidays, how you thoroughly threw off my groove). I need to recussitate it and get moving on that and then, I think, take a once-weekly “writing holiday” (as inspired by an article a friend linked me by writer Holly Lisle) and work on the new draft. We’ll see how my discipline holds out. I really need to get a project finished soon, though, or I might go mad. I want to get the ball rolling!

What’s weird about my writing this new draft, though, is that lately the newer the draft, the faster it’s written. It darn near drops out of my head fully formed, à la Athena. The world is unusual, too; it’s not the world of my series. The characters, plot (well, for the most part), backstory, voice have all just come fully realized. (Which is probably due in part to the fact that this draft is the one inspired by a dream I had last month that I woke up from thinking “Oh, that’d make a good novel,” and well, it is, so far.) But it’s weird. Even with the dream — a series of disconnected images and impressions of backstory and character — helping me, I still plunged into the draft taking more risks with plot and scene than I really ever have at any other point (other than NaNoWriMo’s novel). That is what makes it thrilling. Kamikaze noveling! Me, an empty page, and fingers flying across the keyboard. it’s thrilling and it reminds me why I love to write. Where I used to spend pages and pages worldbuilding (and infodumping) and setting the stage for what would happen by chapter three or four, with this draft (and the two most recent ones before it) it happens in chapter one. It’s like I’m writing a screenplay; the action starts early and drives the plot forward with thrilling momentum. Also that and I find I am getting more and more impatient to get to the meat of the story so starting with a bang helps me jump right into the good stuff. Which made me realize — if I don’t find the interesting beginning set up interesting any longer, what exactly about it had me interested way back when? Spending the first chapter setting up the world doesn’t make sense any longer when I know now how to show that world and how to make the world shine by having my character go out into it and look around. This should probably be my approach to writing new drafts of the old stuff. Just set what’s already done aside and start writing those stories I know so well from scratch.

Jeez, I’d intended this to be a short entry. I don’t think I’m capable of an entry that isn’t a thousand words or more… Well. Back to the grindstone!

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