I figured now that the trip has finished and I’ve had some reasonable amount of time to reflect on my experiences in Europe and Germany in particular, I’d create my own list of weird superlatives (or top-5 or 10 lists) and give you a basic rundown of things I observed that I have never really written about.

3 Ways in Which European Men Differ From American Men

3. They have an innate fashion sense. (They wear white pants. And carry man-purses. Or wear Capri pants.)

2. They speak multiple languages. Often fluently. How often do you get that in America?

1. They have no qualms about being very erm, open, with their respective women (or men) on the street, in public parks, on the subway…regardless of the American tourist expressing her wide-eyed shock. (American men largely think that public displays of gorging affection are signs they are “whipped” or something. *rolls eyes heavily*)

Best Things About Germany (Europe)

5. The fact that you can drive for two hours and travel through three countries. Drive! Through multiple nations! Overland transportation to worlds of different languages!

4. The history. Geschichte. Whatever word you call it, this place is rich and seeping with ancient history. Each city handles it their own way, but it’s all vastly more interesting and fascinating than America. *looks guiltily around* What? America is cool, but you can’t say there’s a building 800 years old sitting next door, can you? Can you? Hmmmmmm?

3. Trains. U-Bahns. Métros. Whatever you call ’em, they’re doing something right here. City to city transport is fantastic; they’re doing something that Amtrak is seriously lacking in America. Fast, cheap fares? Convenient times? Quick purchases? Group travel? America really needs to get on the ball.

2. Eis. Ice Cream. 70 cents a Kugel. *salivates* Crème di Mascarpone, Hazelnuss, Zimt… *faints from Eis withdrawal*

1. The bread. Pastry, sandwich, pretzel, you name it, Europeans understand and appreciate bread products. (This, in a way, is associated with the beer. The beer was very, very good.)

Worst (Or, Well, Annoying) Things About Germany (Europe) — Top 5

5. The 2-Euro cent. (Seriously, Europe, WTF, mate?)

4. The University/school system. From what I’ve heard, there are some pieces that are worse than America—and most of this I heard from the parent of a 14 year old. All kids should have the chance to go to Universität, methinks, not just the fortunate or extra-smart ones. Especially in this day and age when (at least in the US) you need a Bachelor’s Degree to do anything. Maybe I didn’t get a full grip on it, but America, for once, is doing something sort of right with its educational system.

3. The lack of screens on windows. I thought this was the best idea ever—Germany has few bugs—until I realized what staying up late reading with a desk lamp can do for a person’s white walls and white bedspread. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww. Lack of bugs? NO!

2. Bathrooms that charge. (50 cents to use the can? America, don’t you dare capitalize on that!)

1. The fact that Germany is 6,000 miles from America. All of Europe, in fact, is too far. Continental drift must work faster! Faster, I tell you!

Things About Germany Which America Needs to Adopt—Immediately.

5. Candy machines that also sell soda and water. Both, in a single machine! Genius!

4. German efficiency. So awesome to come into contact with bureaucratic stuff that takes no time at all.

3. Escalators that change direction. Boo-yah!

2. Fresh produce, everywhere. Fresh! Fresh! Fresh! No frozen, chemical crap. Fresh!

1. The cheap, fresh food found at corner delis. Please, America, start baking real bread and charging 1,40€ for the best sandwich of my life, immediately…Please! PLEASE!

Best Churches I’ve Seen

5. Peterskirche, Salzburg. (Too Baroque/Rocco for its own good, but pretty spiffy for all that. It’s clearly a church fit for royalty.)

4. Lorenzkirche, Nürnberg. (Huge. Huge. Gothic. Gothic.)

3. Notre Dame, Paris. (The inside lost it points. So dark and dreary!)

2. Dom St. Maria, Augsburg. (Medieval and Romanesque brillance.)

1. Frauenkirche, München. (Despite being rebuilt, the inside is just take-your-breath-away huge. It’s really one of those places that actually feels undeniably holy, down to its foundations.)

Most Embarrasing Moment

3. When, near Karlsplatz, I said to an ice cream man, “Zwei Kugeln, bitte,” over and over, while holding up three fingers. Damn my dyslexic difficulties with “zwei” and “drei”!

2. Discussing and musing critically about a 16 year old who hooked up with some guy here—and realizing that guy was standing behind me. I don’t know him personally, but even so!

1. I actually don’t think I can post it. Hah. Talk to me about it. It’s a story.

Weirdest Moment

Getting on the U-Bahn after the Germany-Portugal game from Olympia Park to Marienplatz. The fans were all painted and bedecked in the schwarz-rot-gold and were jumping up and down, rocking the U-Bahn back and forth. The press of bodies was so intense—and the singing! Oktoberfest songs, random cheers…a heady sort of feeling to be among such fervent people. Weird for sure, but fun.

Most Painful Moment

I learned the hard way what having two liters of Hofbräu Helles at the Hofbräuhaus, followed by a trip to an Irish Pub, and a Mexican Cantina, can do to a person’s head the next morning. How do German 16 year olds survive their birthdays?

Creepiest Moment (tie)

—When the dude came up to us on the train and asked to get on our Schönes-Wochenende ticket.

—When the Haus-Frau nearly killed me for taking back our pot I’d left in the public kitchen. She practically accused me of stealing with the coolest, most frightening glance I’ve ever gotten from a single person. Wow. Scary.

Favorite German Phrases

5. “Ich liebe dich!” I love you!

4. “Mein Deutsch ist sehr schlecht. Ich kann verstehen, aber ich kann nicht so gut sprechen.” Literally: My German is very bad. I can understand, but I can not so well speak.

3. “Jawohl.” Indeed/Exactly

2. “Ein bisschen.” A little bit.

1. “Genau!” Exactly!

Proudest Moments

5. Realizing that I can hold my balance better when climbing up and down slippery rocks and exposed alpine tree roots while carrying a heavy purse—including jumping from rock to rock, ha!—than I can keep my balance walking through a flat, warm house.

4. Seeing six European cities, including all major tourist attractions in them, as well as Linderhof/Neuschwanstein, in a month, and hearing people tell me at the end that they didn’t get to do a third as much, and being disappointed they spent so much time discovering alcohol. (*allows herself a self-satisfied sigh*)

3. Not missing a single day of Goethe Institut class. Not once!

2. Being able to, in German, negotiate a half-off bargain at H&M with the salesgirl respecting me and not speaking a word of English. No awkwardness! (As well as being able to pay at cash registers by hearing the numbers, not seeing them!) I was totally able to carry on passable conversations more than once, albeit awkwardly, but that H&M experience was the only one without embarrassment, only joy!

1. Being prepared more than everyone around me, consistently. [Examples: Being the only person in a group of 3 or more with (a) a map or (b) the knowledge and logical capability to read it and discern the proper orientation and direction of (a) the dorm or (b) the __ tourist site we need to see next; always carrying a compass to easily dispatch arguments of cardinal directionality; bringing a bottle opener/corkscrew when I figured it might come in handy; etc.] So useful to be prepared.

Does it go without saying I’m proud I survived?

So there you have it, folks. My trip is over — has been for some time >.> — and I’m home safe and happy. I probably won’t be updating this blog for a while, now, but feel free to email me and talk to me about my trip any time.

Bis bald! Auf Wiedersehen!