This year marks an interesting change in my usual Christmas Eve experience. It’s the first time I’ve ever spent it without my parents. Not only that but Bryan and I aren’t really doing anything very special. We’re planning to make some baked brie (using some pizza crust that comes in a can?!) and some interesting spinach-y pinwheel things, inspired by some spinach puffs made by a pizza place we enjoy. Otherwise we’ll be watching TV and hanging out in front of our computers for a while.

I mean, should we be doing something more for Christmas Eve? I have fond memories of going to Christmas Eve church services but in recent years the service at my old church near my parents’ has been uncomfortable, mostly due to the new pastor who is a little weird. I don’t know any churches, really, in our neighborhood, nor would Bryan probably be amenable or excited by the prospect of going to church tonight. He was raised Jewish and as such doesn’t really feel comfortable being in a church, even for a service as festive and unusual as the Christmas Eve service.

It all leaves me with this strange displaced feeling. Christmas time really is here but it doesn’t really feel like it yet. Maybe I can blame it on the fact that retailers have said it’s been Christmas since Halloween, so it’s gone on so long it feels strange. To add to that, we don’t have any overtly Christmas-y things in the apartment. We really don’t have a tree (or room for a tree, though we have a tiny potted evergreen bush/tree); I put up some LED lights and I have a bunch of holly-scented candles and some fun red garland and a few ornaments decorating the apartment, but it feels a little anti-climactic. I think what I need is for something really fun and Christmas-y to be on TV tonight, or maybe I need to blast some of Josh Groban or Kristin Chenoweth’s Christmas albums (or Hanson’s…don’t judge me!) and get in the mood for tomorrow. Tomorrow will feel more “normal” Christmas — going to my parents for Christmas dinner and presents and dessert. I’m really looking forward to that.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and Happy 4th night of Hanukkah, everyone!

(Which reminds me — note to self: buy a menorah so you have it for next year…)