Or so I tell myself.

It’s the laptop. I swear. It’s really started to help me get back on the writing track. It’s like going back to the gym after a long hiatus — it’s been somewhat painful and slow at first as I’ve gotten back into the routine but slowly and surely I’m getting used to having the routine again.

Not that this means there’s been a sudden influx of brilliance or creativity, but considering I’m at about 80,000 words in the draft and virtually done with it (okay, climactic scenes plus brief denouement aside), I don’t need a sweeping creative tide to overwhelm me but rather need to get back into the routine of daily writing work. I’ve always been terrible at setting a routine, but I’ve officially gotten hired for a part-time job which means soon I’ll be externally forced into a routine which is something I’m pretty excited about in a strange way.  I’ll be losing several hours a day, perhaps a total of 10-15 a week — which I know isn’t much — to the job, which necessitates a much stricter work regimen. It means I’ll need to work harder to be more efficient in the hours per day I’ll have. Is it strange I’m looking forward to the challenge?

It’s only a part-time job, which is why I can retain my sanity. I’m really, horribly not cut out for a 9 to 5, which is the other impetus powering this need for more efficiency and productivity. I need to prove to myself that I can do this thing, this writing-as-a-career thing, and to do that a lot of stuff needs to happen. I’ve been dawdling and excusing myself for a long time now but it’s coming down to zero hour. I need to start submitting to agents and that means I need to get my manuscripts in gear. Which means work, cold, hard, solid work. All I need to do is keep repeating that I can do it. And, well, actually do it.

I blog about this often, I think. But if I don’t keep repeating it, perhaps I’ll forget how important it really is to me.

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